Say Something
by eibhlin13
Summary: From the moment Fenris saw Evleen Hawke, he was drawn to her fiery spirit and her compassionate nature. Their one passionate night had ended with him walking out on her. Now, three years later, it was she who had walked out on him, unable to live with his constant inner rage. Can he find a way to tame his rage and win her back? The final chapter is complete. I hope you enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1 - Speechless

**A/N - Bioware owns the rights to all things Dragon Age. I just play in their universe.**

Fenris silently watched his sister run out of the Hanged Man, his face a mask pain. "I thought discovering my past would bring a sense of belonging. But I was wrong. Magic has tainted that too. There is nothing for me to reclaim. I am alone."

Evleen Hawke stepped in closer to him. "I'm here Fenris."

He looked into the emerald depths of her eyes and for the briefest of moments he let down his guard. The tenderness in his gaze took her breath away. He reached out and lightly brushed her cheek with his bloodied fingers. Then the walls went up and he turned away from her. He lifted up his tattooed arms. "You heard what Verania said. I wanted these. I fought for them." His lip curled up in disgust. "I feel unclean. Like this magic is not only etched into my skin, but has also stained my soul." He turned back to her, his expression one of self-loathing. "Let's go. I need to get out of here."

As they were leaving they heard the bartender shout, "Who's gonna clean this up?" Hawke turned back and saw Varric take out a small leather pouch and put it on the bar. She shook her head. She would have to pay him back. She couldn't let him pick up the whole tab.

Outside the bar the sun was shining brightly. As the group made to go their separate ways for the day, a battle-weary Anders stumbled into Fenris. The elf shoved the mage. "Get away from me, abomination!"

Anders would have fallen if Sebastian hadn't been there to catch him. "Fenris, what's gotten into you?" the young prince asked.

"I'm sick to death of mages," he replied as he stalked away.

"I'm beginning to think we should have given him to that Magister after all," Anders muttered.

"I'll talk to him," Hawke said. She lengthened her stride to catch up to the long-legged elf. "Fenris wait." He stopped at the base of the stairs that led to Hightown. "What was that all about?"

"I didn't want that abomination touching me," he growled.

Evleen paused to let some people past them up the stairs. She moved in closer to the elven warrior. "Are you even listening to yourself? That _abomination_ kept us all alive while we helped you kill your former master."

Fenris turned away from her and started to walk up the stairs. "I didn't ask for his help."

Hawke kept pace beside him. "But you did ask for _my_ help and I asked our friends to help. If they hadn't been there we both would have died or been taken by Denarius. They all risked their lives to save you from slavery. Doesn't that count for something?"

He stopped and glared at her. "What do you want me to say?"

She returned his glare. "How about thank you, for a start?"

"What, say thank you to the blood mage and the abomination?" he sneered.

"No damn it! Say thank you to Merill and Anders. They didn't have to come. With the horrible way you treat them, I'm surprised that they did. They're _people_ Fenris." She closed her eyes and bowed her head. Her voice lowered to just above a whisper. "Just like Bethany."

Fenris saw a single tear slide from beneath her eyelids. His heart faltered. He had only ever seen her cry once before—when her mother died. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Hawke…"

Evleen lifted her head and met his gaze, her eyes bright with unshed tears. When she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion. "I thought when you came to me this time that maybe, just maybe we had a chance. If we killed Denarius then you could finally find peace. Then you would let me in and we could be together." A soft sob escaped her lips before she clenched her jaw and angrily wiped away her tears. "But I can't do this. You keep saying magic has tainted your soul." She shook her head. "It's not magic that's tainted you—it's hatred. It colors everything around you. You see every mage through that tarnished glass and they all look the same to you. I can't live like that. These people are my friends and I love them, in spite of their flaws." A sad smile touched her lips. She reached out and gently brushed back a stray lock of his silver-white hair. "I love you, Fenris. I always will. But I think it's time for us to move on." Her voice sank to a whisper. "Goodbye."

When Evleen turned away from him, Fenris felt like she was taking his heart with her. "Hawke." She turned back, a small spark of hope in her eyes. His throat constricted. Everything he wanted to say suddenly became stuck behind the great wall of his bitterness. He shook his head and looked away from her. "I'm sorry."

She nodded and closed her eyes against the pain. "So am I."

Fenris stood frozen in place while he watched the woman he loved walk away from him, the warm sun shining brightly on her auburn hair. Resentment filled him. Magic had even tainted his love for her.

2


	2. Chapter 2 - A Whisper

**Trigger warning: Brief description of a sexual assault**

Varric leaned over and said quietly. "That's the third hand you've lost, elf. You might want to call it a night."

Fenris looked at his dwindling pile of coin. "You're right. I am not paying much attention to the game. I should probably go home."

Isabela gave him a sultry smile. "You can always stay here. In my room. It's awfully dangerous out there at night."

The warrior-elf met her gaze with a half-hearted smile. "Perhaps another time. I am…tired this evening. Goodnight."

"Oh come on," she said in a silky tone, "I know you're curious."

"Let it be Rivaini," Varric said quietly.

The sexy pirate pouted. "Spoilsport."

Outside the Hanged Man, a chill breeze blew in off the water. Fenris headed toward his mansion in Hightown, but his pace grew slower and slower. He didn't want to sit alone in his empty home with only his morose thoughts for company. He turned instead towards the docks where the smell of the salt air reminded him of the brief happy time he spent with the Fog Warriors.

The sound of soft weeping drifted into his dark reverie. It sounded like a young child. Fenris followed the sound to its source—a young woman curled up in the doorway of an abandoned warehouse. The moonlight shone softly on her fair hair and upon the mage robes she wore. The elven warrior stood over the girl with his hands on his hips. "What are you doing here?" he asked harshly.

The young woman started and put up her hands protectively. "Don't hurt me."

A frisson of shock ran through Fenris when he saw her. The whole left side of her face was bruised. Her eye was swollen shut and her nose and lip were bleeding. Even in the moonlight he could see that her hands were covered with blood. His acute sense of smell caught its metallic scent somewhere nearby. He looked down and saw a crimson pool slowly growing beneath her. "What happened to you? Did you run away from the Circle?"

"I didn't mean to," she said.

"Didn't mean to? I don't understand."

A soft sob escaped her lips. "I thought Travis loved me. He said I was beautiful, that I was special. He snuck me out of the Circle tonight so we could…be together. We made love and he was so sweet. It…it was my first time." A shudder ran through her body. "Then three of his friends came. They…" she choked on her tears. "They took turns while he held me down and laughed. When I tried to fight, one of them hit me. They beat me. One of them," her voice fell to a whisper, "put the hilt of his sword inside me. I got away by casting a sleeping spell on them after they thought I was unconscious."

Rage filled him. "Who are these men? They will pay for this abuse."

She shook her head. "No one will care. They're Templars and I'm just a mage." She looked up at him. "I'm dying." She shivered. "I was trying get to my mum's place so I could see her one more time, but I couldn't walk anymore."

"You are not going to die." Fenris scooped her up in his arms and began to run towards Darktown, to the only person he knew who could heal such grievous injuries.

The door of Anders' clinic crashed open after the second kick. The mage was standing at the back of the dingy room with his staff in hand. His eyes glowed blue and a faint blue aura surrounded him. "So have you finally come to take your vengeance elf?" the voice of Justice challenged.

"Damn it Anders, no! I need…she needs your help."

The blue glow faded and the mage blinked. "Who is it? What happened?"

Fenris brought the semi-conscious girl over to the examination table. "She's a mage. I don't know her name." He gently laid her down. "Four Templars raped her." When he straightened up, he saw that his armor was covered with her blood. His lyrium tattoos began to glow as the fury built in him. "They brutalized her."

Anders looked at her blood soaked robes and Fenris' armor. "Maker help us," he whispered, "There's so much damage inside her."

The white glow of his healing spell illuminated the dimly lit room. The young woman moaned and opened her eyes. She looked up at the mage and said, "I know you. You're the one who helps mages escape the circle." A spasm went through her body. "It hurts," she whispered.

Anders leaned down and caressed her forehead. "I know. I'm sorry. I am trying to stop the bleeding. What's your name?"

"Leah," she gasped before another spasm racked her slender frame.

The mage's hands glowed white again. Sweat beaded on his forehead. "Damn it, there's too much bleeding."

A tear slipped out of her eye. "I know," she said softly. "I was studying to be a healer." She turned her face away from Anders. "Where is the man who found me?"

Fenris came to the other side of the table. "I am here."

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Fenris," he replied.

Leah reached for his hand. "Fenris, thank you for trying to save me. Most people wouldn't."

His heart twisted. He had said something similar to Hawke years ago when she first came to his aid. The elf took Leah's delicate hand in his. It was cold and clammy. He looked over at the healer. "Anders, do something."

The glow around the mage intensified. "I'm trying. It's just that she's lost so much blood. Maker knows how long she was out there before you found her."

Leah's hand slipped from Fenris' grasp and fell back to the table. She closed her eyes. "I didn't get to see my mum," she whispered. "Will you tell her?"

"I'll find her," Anders said. "What's her name?"

"Maggie." Her breathing got shallow. "She lives in…" Her breath came out in a quiet sigh and then stilled.

Anders bowed his head wearily. "She's gone."


	3. Chapter 3 - A Shout

**This is really short—sorry—but it seemed like a good place to break. I promise more will be coming soon.**

Fenris gripped the edge of the examination table until his knuckles were white. "Lowtown. Her mother lives in Lowtown. That's where I found her." He pushed himself away from the young woman's body and walked blindly across the room. His forward progress was halted when he hit his shins on a crate that had been turned into a makeshift table. His lyrium tattoos blazed brightly, he roared with rage and he put his fist through the crate. Wooden shrapnel shot across the clinic, some pieces embedding themselves into the wall.

"I would have thought you'd be relieved," Anders said. "One less mage on Thedas."

The elf whirled around. "Shut up! She was innocent—barely more than a child. They were supposed to protect her!"

The mage was silent for a long time. He went into a small back room and brought out a blanket. He laid it first on Leah's feet as he carefully brushed her golden hair from her now serene face. Then he folded her arms across her chest and pulled the blanket over her body.

When Anders finally looked up at Fenris, there were tears in his eyes. "Let me see if I can tell you what happened. One of the Templars told her he loved her, that she was special. He snuck her out of the circle because he couldn't stand to be another moment without her. They made love—it was probably the first time for her—and it was wonderful. Until his friends showed up."

Fenris stared at Anders and a cold knot formed in his stomach. He hadn't told the mage the girl's story and yet the man recited it as if he knew it by heart. The sudden realization hit him like an avalanche. Anders was telling his own story and the story of probably dozens if not hundreds of other mages. Young boys and girls torn from their homes and brought a place devoid of warmth and love. Young men and women who were told day in and day out that they were damned in the eyes of the Maker—dangerous and not to be trusted, ever. Mages were feared by those on the outside and reviled by those within the walls that were meant to "protect" them from themselves and Thedas from them. But instead of being protected, they were abused and betrayed day after day, year after year. In short—slaves.

The elf turned away from the mage's accusatory glare. He put his head in his hands. _Maker help me,_ he thought, _What must I do?_

As if in answer to his prayer, Fenris heard Justice say, "You must dispense justice for this crime."

He raised his head and turned back to Anders. The blue glow was fading and the blond mage looked even more weary than before. "They will be looking for her," he said quietly. "The one who brought her over will no doubt have her phylactery. It will have stopped glowing now that's she's dead, but they'll at least need a body to bring back to the circle and there's probably a trail of blood they can follow. They will come here."

Fenris' lyrium tattoos began to glow. "Let them come," he growled. He pulled his great sword off his back and stalked out of the clinic like the predator for which he was named.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Rest is Silence

Travis watched the glow fade from the phylactery in his hand. "She's dead." He shoved the Templar walking next to him. "Damn it Garon, why can't you keep your temper?"

Garon snarled back at him. "That little bitch kicked me in the balls. She deserved everything she got."

"But now we're going to have explain to the Knight-Commander how she got out and what happened to her," Travis complained.

Geron shrugged. "When we find her body, we just put a sword through her gut and say she was an escaped maleficar."

"First we have to find her though," one of the other Templars said. "She obviously didn't make it this far on her own. You saw the footprints leading from that pool of blood we found. What if she told whoever helped her what happened?"

"Shut up Rory, you whiner," Garon said. "If we find him, we kill him. Even if we don't find him and he tells someone in the Chantry, Knight-Commander Meredith isn't going to do anything about it anyway."

"You know," Travis said thoughtfully, "There's supposed to be an apostate healer down here somewhere. Maybe that's where she is."

"If there's an apostate down here, why haven't the Templars been sent after him?" Rory asked.

Travis shrugged. "No one's been able to find him. Every time we get a lead, he slips away."

Garon chuckled. "If we find him tonight, the only slipping he'll be doing is onto my blade." He gave Travis a knowing smile. "And who knows, maybe he'll have some lyrium stashed in his little hidey-hole that we'll have confiscate."

Travis looked back at the young Templar walking behind them. "What's wrong Devin? You haven't said much."

Devin shrugged nervously. "Maybe we shouldn't have done the girl like that. She was so young."

Garon stopped walking, turned around and shoved the younger man into a wall. "She was old enough to act like whore that she was. She was a mage. No one cares what happens to mages."

The four men came to a set of stairs that led down to a platform that overlooked the water. On the other side of the platform, another set of stairs led up to a pair of doors. The trail of blood led right to those doors.

#

Fenris heard enough of the Templar's conversation to know that these were the men responsible for Leah's death. He let them walk past his hiding place and down the stairs before he emerged from the shadows at the top of the stairs behind them. "Which one of you is Travis?" His deep voice startled the men. They whirled around, all four drawing their blades at once.

One of the Templars stepped forward. He was handsome, with thick blond hair and boyish good looks. "I'm Travis. Who the hell are you?"

Fenris walked slowly down the stairs into the dim torchlight. "You are responsible for the death of an innocent girl. Justice demands that you pay the price."

Garon stepped forward. He was taller than Travis and broader in the shoulder. He had close cropped dark hair and a thin, cruel-looking mouth. "I don't know who you think you are elf, but I'm going to teach you how to talk to your betters."

Fenris let out a low chuckle that sent shivers down Garon's spine. "You can try, Templar." His lyrium tattoos began to glow as he stalked the first of his prey.

Rory gasped. "Maker's Breath, what is that?"

"It's some kind of abomination!" Devin shouted.

The young Templar started to back away from Fenris, but Travis grabbed him by the arm. "Get back here you coward. There's four of us."

Sparks flew when Fenris' and Garon's blades met. Garon was bigger, but Fenris was much faster. He dodged and danced around the Templar's attacks, fading in and out of sight using the power given to him by the lyrium embedded in his skin. The other Templars tried to surround him, but a sudden pulse from the elf sent them stumbling back, stunned.

Garon roared with rage and tried to overwhelm Fenris with his shield attacks. The smaller man staggered momentarily, then came back stronger, redoubling his strikes on the Templar's shield and armor. Finally the bigger man's shield dropped low enough for Fenris to get a clean strike at his neck. He swept his blade up and across, hitting him just above the collar. Blood sprayed all over the elf as Garon's head went flying to one side and his body fell back and was impaled on the railing of the platform.

Fenris narrowly missed getting his own head taken off by a Templar blade. He ducked and rolled just in time, but a smite from another Templar sent him flying back into the wall. His head hit the jagged stone and he saw stars. He felt blood start to trickle down the back of his neck. He blinked several times to clear his vision and dodged another strike, this time from Travis. The Templar's blade struck the wall where Fenris' head had been a moment before. The elven warrior kicked out and swept Travis' legs out from under him. The Templar went down flat on his back. His head hit the ground and he lost consciousness.

Before Fenris could reach the fallen man, the other two Templars rushed him. Devin and Rory were younger and less experienced than their compatriots and the two of them were no match for the enraged elf. No matter where they struck, their blades always missed. Fenris got under Rory's guard and took off his sword arm. The young Templar screamed as he watched blood pump from the stump of his arm. He backed away from Fenris into the railing. The elf kicked him in the chest and sent over the side into the water below.

Fenris quickly turned back to defend himself against Devin and found the young man down on knees. His sword and shield lay discarded in front of him and his head was bowed in prayer. He looked up when Fenris stepped in front of him and said, "I know I am to blame for my actions. It is my duty to protect the mages and I failed. I only ask for a quick death." Then he bowed his head again and waited for the final blow.

Fenris raised his sword, but then lowered it again. He grabbed the Templar by the hair and pulled his head up. "Look at me," he growled. When he had the young man's attention he said, "Leave Kirkwall and never return. Find a way to earn your forgiveness."

Devin blinked in disbelief. "You're letting me go?" He scrambled to his feet. "Thank you. Maker bless you."

Fenris grabbed his arm. "If I see you again, I will kill you." The Templar nodded in understanding then turned on his heel and ran away as fast as his heavy armor would allow, leaving his sword and shield behind.

"Traitor." Travis tried to get up, but his head was still spinning. "Bloody little traitor. He'd better hope I never find him."

Fenris strode over to the Templar and shoved him back down. "He won't need to worry about that. You can't chase him if you're dead." The lyrium tattoos of his right hand glowed bright blue-white. He shoved his fist right through the heavy steel of Travis' armor and into his chest. He heard the Templar screaming as his hand wrapped around the man's heart and squeezed. And then all was silent.

Fenris stood up and cleaned his sword on the dead Templar's robes. He heard a noise above him and turned to see Anders glaring at him from the top of the stairway. "You let one of them go," he said harshly.

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

The warrior sheathed his sword before he answered. "Because Hawke would have asked me to. She's a better person than both of us."

Anders nodded slowly in acknowledgement. "Do you need healing?" he asked reluctantly.

Fenris lip curled in distaste. "No. I'll be fine."

The mage shrugged. "Goodnight then." He turned to leave, then turned back again. "Thank you." The words sounded forced.

"I didn't do it for you," Fenris said.

"I know," Anders replied. After a short pause he said, "Don't hurt her again. I won't waste another opportunity."

The elf glared at mage then hurried back up the stairs and out of Darktown.

#

Evleen's Mabari hound, Oberon, was barking and whining at the front door. She grabbed his collar and pulled him back. "What is it you rotten beast? What could possibly be that interesting this early in the morning?" She opened the door and Fenris almost fell into the entry hall. He was covered in blood and looked paler than usual. She grabbed him under his arms and helped him stand. "Fenris, what happened? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," he muttered. "I'm just tired."

She saw the back of his head. "You're bleeding. Where were you? How did this happen?"

He straightened up and caressed her cheek. "Beautiful Evleen. Always so caring."

Hawke let out a sigh of exasperation. She threw his arm over her shoulder and guided him to the stairs up to her bedroom. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Bodhan came out of his room and asked, "Is everything all right messere?"

"It's fine, Bodhan," she replied. "I'll take care of him."

Once in her bedroom, Evleen sat Fenris on her bed and started removing his armor. She took off his gauntlets, his breastplate, and finally the padded undergarment. He remained silent throughout the whole process. She examined his body for wounds and found only a few scrapes and bruises and the cut on the back of his head. She stood in front of him and took his face in her hands. "Fenris, say something. What happened last night?"

The elf opened his eyes and she was shocked to see tears in them. "You were right. Hatred poisons everything, even things that are meant to be right and good." He closed his eyes again and bowed his head. "Evleen. My Evleen. Can you forgive me? Can you help me?"

Her own eyes filled with tears and she lifted his face again and tenderly kissed his lips. "I love you. Of course I forgive you. I'll do whatever it takes to help you."

Fenris slid his arms around her waist and pulled her closed.. "I love you, Evleen. I loved you from the moment I saw you. I was just afraid to let anyone in."

Evleen pulled him to his feet and kissed him again, more deeply this time. Fenris moaned softly against her mouth and slipped his hands inside her dressing gown. He raised his head and saw that he'd left streaks of blood on her face. He took a step back from her. "I'm filthy."

A wicked smiled curved her lips. "I haven't taken my bath yet." She took his hand and led him into her bathing chamber.


End file.
